EmmeFemme.

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If you have been following this blog, you’ll know that this is not the first blog I had; I chronicled a darker time, a toxic relationship with myself and with the characters in my life at that time. Now that that has passed, I can think back rationally and say [to myself], ‘SHIT,WHAT THE HELL??’

Abuse was the first topic I blogged about on this blog and then I worked my way out of it. Everything started going up once I learnt to unchain myself to memories and keep them as files- as they were probably meant to be. You don’t need to constantly berate yourself on mistakes you made, or worse, punish yourself for mistakes someone else said you made- which you probably didn’t. Relationships run their courses. Friendships end. Associations are terminated. You’re at point zero.

But is point zero a bad thing?

No. Because you can only go up from here. Climb from the obscurity to touch the trees and see LIGHT. It’s a wonderful world out there if you can let go of all the screaming and yelling and be true to YOU.

You.

 

And do not let anyone tell you OTHERWISE. Believe in you. Have faith in YOU. Strive to be the BEST YOU CAN BE.

Now, because I saw this while writing this ‘Love-thyself’ post, I am going to remind all of you to remind your neighbor- regardless of color, creed, orientation, whatever. Those who incite HATE are not worth your time.

This Reverend reminds of us of something IMPORTANT, that there are SICK individuals out there. I do wish that he had Spoken MORE about how to LOVE each other but this is probably an excerpt from his whole sermon. We need to have more conversations on how NOT To segregate our community.

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Sometimes I feel that humans forget the value of HUMAN lives. I’ve seen people pounce on the parents of the Alligator victim in Orlando Florida or the parents of the child who fell into the Gorilla’s enclosure last month resulting in the gorilla being shot. I am so glad to see people feel strongly about animals but FOR GOODNESS SAKE, have the same regard for HUMAN lives. Don’t sit there and blame parents when they are grieving…I understand your love for animals might be super strong BUT PLEASE KNOW that a child is PRECIOUS to their parents. You can’t GET another child back. Ever thought…what if that child was the only child parents could have. Some comments have been DOWNRIGHT MEAN. What happened to SUPPORTING one another in times of need? Why can’t we help one another…? LOVE Yourself and LOVE your neighbors, the world NEEDS IT RIGHT NOW…

 

What a rant …PHEW.

 

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It’s been a while.

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So the wedding happened, the post wedding dinners happened, the mini-moon happened, and then we ran into a snag. May God help us, this too shall pass. IN SHA ALLAH. (Ameen).

Married life is different. No matter how many times you prepare for it in your head, it’s just different. It’s not bad different, or scary different- it’s ohmygod-sharing-a-bed-with-someone-different. And you learn a few things about yourself when you do get married. I suppose you will keep learning as you grow, but the you learn a bit more about yourself when you have to share yourself with another person. It’s different!

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My veil … and the NONRed outfit

So my wedding was pretty …it was pretty much a BLUR to me. When I see pictures, I still can’t believe that was me a mere 3 months ago. I didn’t actually think my wedding would come together the way it did- so quickly and with no major disasters…I mean there was that issue of my karighar ruining my wedding dress days before my wedding dress, but the replacement dress was a gift from Allah. I really was NOT sure about it at all, particularly because it was a very A-Typical color, but it fit lovely, It shone so bright and when I put it on the day of my wedding, my husband was blown away.

I chose to go a little more traditional by veiling my face during my entrance, Nikkah, and rukhsati. My mother in law loved the idea and has been talking about it since I got married. Cool fact: my mom picked the fabric for my husbands shehrwani and it was GORGEOUS. Having a mom with great design aesthetic is FABULOUS !

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Jhoota Chupai DURING the Dhoodh pilai – two traditions in one !

My dhoodh pilai was filled with fun drama, completely enjoyed it! My best friend was in charge of the bargaining- she ‘made’ the glass (pretty sure she had help! ๐Ÿ™‚ ) and she is the closest I have to a sister , right in the same league as my sister in law. I wish several other friends had joined in- notably absent from that was my friend who came from Karachi and had been staying with me… but i probably made the mistake of not saying anything and just assuming she’d be there …aye haye! ย The only set back was my husbands flirty friend…who gave the dhoodh pilai- ers way less than the money my husband allotted for the occasion. But Ok… whatever. It’s over!

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The dhoodh pilai glass.

My rukhsati was pretty emotional… for my dad ๐Ÿ™‚ Yes…dad cried. I didn’t shed too many tears because I knew I’d pop home for a visit the next day…and I DID! But i really did feel special and I always cry watching my wedding video and my wedding images.

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Saying Allah Hafiz…for the night

Saying Allah Hafiz to your dad is definitely hard work. Watching his teary ears elicits tears. That’s the only time I cried a bit but thankfully Mama calmed him down and my mother in law told me to not ruin my face because i had to show it to my new husband. I was like…oh man… ๐Ÿ˜›

So when I finally got home…guess what!? There was a photographer pushing for a photoshoot that no one had any energy for. I just wanted to let my hair down, take a pill and sleep. (I mean, this blog is rated PG and I for Islamically approved by my own conscience!)

SO THE next day was the walima and I was pretty happy that I chose not to have a mendhiย (I had a dholki a whole week prior to my wedding) because getting ready a second day was a nightmare. I definitely think the whole getting ready process is overpriced; it’s also tense because it’s the most important day of your life and you want to look AMAZING and these Salon people keep throwing charges at you. HOWEVER, I will say that I was very satisfied with my make up artists at Ather Shahzad. Shahzad Raza saw me the day of my baraat and had a few compliments to throw at me ๐Ÿ™‚ which was actually really lovely. I did recommend the salon to my friends for their special days but yes…I do believe the cost of getting ready is sky rocketing. It actually shouldn’t be so expensive because the amount of product being used on you is minimal. The expertise is there BUT it’s only for a limited amount of time.

I really worked hard to have my walima wedding shoot at my husbands old school- and it was quite the idea ๐Ÿ™‚ A wedding shoot at Aitchison was a perfect idea! My husband was SO happy and the images turned out LOVELY!

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Walking down memory lane with my husband

Also, I wore a mint green- at least you can see this outfit versus my baraat dress, which you can’t see because i don’t have an image like this to show you.

I also have to mention my photographers … I found them on facebook of all places and they were so willing to work with me that it made the experience a lot better. They had to hear a lot of complaints from me, butttt they knew this was from a jittery bride and they took it all in stride. I definitely recommend them because they do TRY harder than a lot of other photographers out there. They wont break the bank either and tend to work with people with budgets.

JAS Photographyย did a wonderful job and if you have a wedding, they are an option to bear in mind!

I can’t remember who did the catering, but i heard good things about the food both days…I wouldn’t know because I didn’t eat a thing on either the baraat or the Walima – Not eating on your wedding days is not smart, don’t do that. You’ll go home and ask for food and no one will have food because no one has cooked food for the day because they cook fresh at home and lunch wala food was all finished. So don’t be dumb and EAT SOMETHING.

Also, here’s a religious tip for anyone who wants to take it: make sure to read Surah Noor before the wedding. That’s what my phupho told me to do and I dutifully obliged.

Tada! That’s it folks ๐Ÿ™‚ Have a wonderful day.