SMILE and OOWWW!

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I am most definitely going through the worst toothache EVER. I think something is infected because there is definitely pain and its spreading and it feels warm and i think my gum is about to explode. OWW is an understatement. I’ve taken a pain killer and am headed to the dentist ASAP. I wonder if whatever infection is in whatever part of my mouth will spread…hopefully not 😦

So remember I told you guys I wanted to discover local brands? I messaged them and received the following replies 🙂

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So as you can see, the only brand that managed to give me a proper reply and pique my curiosity was Luscious. I’m giving MM cosmetics points for replying . OF COURSE i didn’t expect either Redah or MM to reply, but a good representative would’ve been sufficient.

Todays Adventure with W: So he comes over and, you guessed it, formality prevailed! And i’m talking, me not being there; me going to the roof to walk to wait till he leaves…Yeab, that’s too Sharmeeli- even for me. But i did it…for the most part until he walked back to the living room – he left to my dads mancave aka home office- only to see me and jump back out of the room. weeeeh me. A .5 second encounter with the man I am about to marry. The man who probably is getting as curious as I am to really know the person I have to share a bathroom with in 28 days. Freaking seriously?What if we don’t like the same brands of SHAMPOOS!EVER THOUGHT OF THAT!?!

We’ve managed to have a few serious conversations. Things that make me believe that there is hope…that things will be fine in sha Allah. I secretly (well, now it isn’t a secret) worry- just like anyone else about to tie the knot i guess. Perhaps it isn’t worry, it’s a whole bunch of emotions that just leave me…they render me semi confused to be honest. I enjoy these moments of silence, typing out what I feel…its gets it out of my system. I think every bride out there needs a way to get these feelings out- even if it’s utter joy. You need a place or a way to say or show it. And it’s gotta be your own way. Theres no right or wrong way to do it,say it, feel it…it just happens. I guess this is my way- I mean IT is.

One piece of advice people…stop butting noses in people’s business…Day before I heard of someone who stalked me on FB to find out what i looked like. W’s friends wife. She then sent W a picture of my Display Picture- W, by the way, is NOT on FB- and it was me on the couch at our ‘haan’ with an OMG on him, hiding his face. I am not hiding his face for any reason other than the fact that I want everyone to see him at the wedding, at the appropriate time. WHY does one have to do things the way other people want them to? This ‘well meaning friend’  can cause a lot of problems if she continues doing what she’s doing, feeding MY HUSBAND to be with ‘info’ . I’m lucky that W is smart enough to ask me, but I was absolutely grossed out by that dumb action. Realize that even small bits of unnecessary info can cause misunderstandings.

Over and Out.

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Acquisition

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Technically, this post should be called ‘I-CANT-BELIEVE-THEY-BOUGHT-ME-THAT’ but i thought i would tone it down. A wedding, particularly a desi wedding, involves A LOT of shopping.

I think for once in my life, I feel incredibly overwhelmed.I also feel incredibly grateful but i haven’t been able to say thank you to my parents…its not that i don’t want to, its just that i feel so … shocked and it just doesn’t come out. Its an emotion that wants to thank them and thank God, but right now, i just don’t have words.  Lack of words. And here I am writing it down. I guess a card is in order.

I did write them a thank you not in my wedding invite- the printer made a mistake and forgot to write ‘A Message From the Bride’  on the top. I am horribly ticked off but can do nothing about it.

I was thinking how incredible its is to be getting married to people who don’t expect a girl to bring any materials to their home. Or if they do, they have not said anything. Having been through the rishta process for a while, I had seen and heard of people who asked for a dowry. And there are ways of doing it. And if you think a lot of us have it ‘bad’, think of people in villages who think this unislamic practice is NECESSARY and they spend their  energies saving for their daughters…sorry, the IN-LAWS of their daughter/s.

Marriage has me thinking of a lot. My rights as a woman, for example. Do I really have any? Will my husband uphold them? Will I be strong enough for myself? I think, I plan and then I think some more and tell myself that things will be alright IN SHA ALLAH. Truthfully, you can plan all you want, but ultimately, nothing is in your hands. You have a lot of work to do, but it has to be done in the moment.

In the weeks coming up to the wedding, I’ve noticed people say, ‘Haww, bataya bi nahi k shaadi ho rahi hai…mujay bula rahi ho na?’ [‘Haawww, you didn’t even tell me you were getting married…are you inviting me or not?’ ]  OR THEN, people have offered to help without having ever had a conversation with me before! ALSO I’ve seen people who assume they are invite, tell you they are really happy for you…and then they never call. You never hear from them…You hear they tell people they are psyched to go to your wedding but then they never call. THAT SUCKS.

Inviting yourself to a wedding IS AWKWARD people. Let me just say that we plan for a wedding and it would be a JOY to have everyone, but realistically, it is sorta impossible because you have so many things to think about…not being invited to a wedding does NOT mean I hate you or didn’t want you there, it means I just had no space. And lets be REAL, you will not always be invited to every wedding, no matter what, it will not happen!Don’t let that cause problems in your friendship. It’s not worth it.

I’m hungry for attention since like, last week. It’s not like I am NOT getting attention, I’m getting plenty of it, but i really want W to call. He has been MIA for the last 4 days because he has been working- wedding planning and actually working his little bottom off. It’s so difficult to have a conversation these days and, coincidentally, that’s all I want. I want to know what is going on on that side of the wedding preps. When will this end!?!?!

Also, getting married made me think of one more thing…i might need to know how to paint my face. Besides the general, MAC, YSL, CHANEL, etc, etc, I saw these two Pakistani brands and I almost got them, but not quite…Luscious and Musarrat Misbah …It just occurred to me that Nabila has a brand too..Maybe I should actually try and see if they work because they are all targeted for Asian Skin… what do you think??? Also,Musarrat Misbah says her make up is HALAL, How COOL is that! Any ideas what people recommend to the new bride???

 

Prem Ratan SCARY

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W had mentioned he watches bollywood movies shamelessly. I was pretty amazed at an open admission to it- every ‘man’ I had ever met here admitted to the typical hollywood movies. On this special night (please read: boring) I fluffed up my pillows, stared at the screen, einee-meenied my way thru a list of bolly films and finally settled on one called ‘Prem Ratan Dhan Payo’. I will admit that i KNEW the actors in this movie would suck, but i thought the costumes would give me insight into what ‘traditional’ was.

Truthfully, I cried through some of the movie. Parts of it were so stupid, I just had to cry. Who wrecks their saaris playing football? Hated all the music in this movie, I have nothing positive or negative to say, and my only observation was that Salman Khan was one tiny head on a massive body- it looks surreal. OH WAIT…isn’t Sonam Kapoor old enough to be Salman’s kid ?? WHY pair her up with him!?!?! WHY?!?! Please tell me no one sees Salman Khan as cute? How is this guy an actor??

Anyway… Bollywood films have potential but this one was unreal. I know I’ve seen a good Bollyfilm…’Huwa Hawai’ was one. As was ‘A Wednesday’.

My own bollyfilm is playing out; I’m constantly writing the script… ARE YOU READING THIS ??? BECAUSE, YOU’RE GONNA KNOW THE ENDING WHEN I FINISH! In sha Allah 🙂 So Like, YEAH. READ on babies!

I should be enjoying the time between NOW and the wedding, but truthfully- it’s been a really hectic time. It’s not just the amount of work, it’s been the other stresses that get to me. Odd friends, weirdo family members. Are these people for real? Planning for a wedding has its downfalls- there are days I feel extremely lonely. Mama is the only constant and I am super grateful. However, sometimes you need a friend whose a little closer in age who you can joke with on a more immature level.

It’s difficult when everyone works or is away…why!Khair, I am still grateful. Alhamdulilah. I hope I see people at the wedding…!!!

The ‘Glow’

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I had previously decided that my make up was going to be done at Ather Shahzad… and somewhere in the middle, I decided I just couldn’t… I couldn’t spend so much money on make up.  I began to search for the salon that would offer a fantastic look without costing me a fortune. And that’s when I realized…I should probably open a salon because I CAN MAKE PEOPLE LOOK GORGEOUS! I can!! Why can’t I do my own make up eh? ANYWAY, the benefits of doing my own make up didn’t really add up for me because I didn’t have the right lights and I wanted to relax and get my hair done etc. So once again, I opted for Ather Shahzad because YES I have had my face done there…what I didn’t expect was the fact that the rates had increased. SHIT.

To say that I was ticked off would be an understatement. This ridiculous, fluctuating rate of make up – that by the way, you aren’t taking home- IS STUPID. But because I had shopped around and I knew what I wanted, I went ahead and booked and had a word with the people at Ather Shahzad. Yes, you can negotiate the rates a bit, but…what’s the point…you’re still being fleeced. And I have blogged about this before but now that i’ve booked it…I do feel kind of stupid. I feel KIND OF STOOPID…But then again, I don’t,because I didn’t opt for the 136k priced bridal package, nor did I opt for the 95k one, or the 85k… I opted for something within range…but for 2 days, i DO FEEL…like this money will go down the sink. I feel my heart sinking, I do. I’m considering calling the salon tomorrow. I bet a lot of brides go thru this to be honest.  And lets get one thing straight- there are very few make up artists; eventually everyone at a particular salon IS TRAINED by someone above them to achieve a certain look that the salon can stand by, ALSO you’re NOT TAKING THE PRODUCTS home… You get the face and then you have to stay in it for the whole day. Damn. NOT only that, who does the touch ups when you leave the salon ? So a minuscule amount of product is applied to your face and then you leave.

I saw a blog on the ExpressTribune expressing the sentiments of a friend of the bride…guys, it IS REALLY stressful… Read about paying up to Rs.66K for makeup here . Everyone wants to look PHENOMENAL on their wedding day. I know I do, but even though I haven’t signed up for the most expensive package or the one that costs half a lakh, I still feel guilty. I could have used the money for something else. I gotta go back and SAVE my MONEY. I mean it SHOULD NOT COST YOU A FORTUNE TO LOOK FANTASTIC!! In SHA ALLAH, YOU WILL LOOK GREAT BECAUSE YOU’RE COMPLETING HALF YOUR DEEN AND YOU’RE HAPPY…

Make up helps, but it doesn’t work miracles. Be involved. Bring your samples of what up want… be BOLD. Be bright. Be YOU. And by the way, if bold isn’t you…be LIGHT. Be airy. I want to go bold, personally. I want a Saleha Abbasi type look…seen her work? Saleha creates fabulous looks ! Make sure you think about your hair AS WELL!!!!! Your hair is just as important as your face because it brings the whole look together. I think i chose Ather because I knew I needed help with the hair too…I also know how to do hair but I mean, after exhausting your energy on make up, how do you expect to do hair…the good news is that for my own dholki…if there is one (still unsure) I can definitely do my own hair and make up 🙂

AND THAT IS IT FOR TONIGHT…until next time in sha Allah!

Arranged

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It’s a Taylor Swift kinda night – WHO KNEW!!! But i’ll take it. Some day, when I revisit this particular post, i’ll congratulate myself on my composure and my calmness. 39 days to wedded bliss and I discover I my karighar hasn’t even started my bridal joraa. That’s right folks…I’m dress-less. I DO have a back up though sooooo…. the only thing is that I doubt my wedding jewelry for my main baraat dress will match my back up dress sooooo….

It’s incredible that I haven’t collapsed into a fit of tears yet. Good job ME.

Oh Shit. I just saw my first mosquito of the season. I hate mosquitos.

MOVING on, will someone tell me what the hell the issue is with the Salon people in this country? No one can give you a bloody price unless you VISIT them…what is with the secrecy?! Eventually Salons would divulge their charges via Inbox but I had a nasty little experience with Amina Raja. I enquired about a grooming class they were offering and blatantly asked them what the big secret was and that not everyone could come to the salon to just enquire about the course[ Amina Raja’s Grooming course ] . My comment was promptly deleted as was the comment of another young lady who said she agreed with me. I opened my inbox to read a reply from the salon – which they also deleted- which had me in fits of laughter.

Screen Shot 2016-02-07 at 11.47.42 PMDecorum eh… I DID inbox them for the charges, which are BY THE WAY 50K , and yes i was told, but needless to say, i was quite put off by their ridiculous reply.

Why do people spend amazing quantities of money for MAKE UP. Make up you will wash away in several hours. Amina Raja charges a whooping 95k for Barat and 85K for Walima; Mariam Khwaja = 1lakh for barat, 98k for walima; Shahzad Raza = 125k to do your face and 95k to do your eye make up. Bye bye money 🙂

Coincidentally, my make up is being done at Ather Shahzad. Don’t say it. They told me IT WAS MY DAY…not OUR day, MY DAY. MEEEEEEE. But whats the point of booking my salon when I have no freaking DRESS. GIVE ME MY DRESS KARIGHAR!!!!!!!!!

I went to this wedding and I came out of it a changed woman…what style, what make up, what QUESTIONS…someone asked me ‘How much do you like your fiance?’ Like…is there a way to really quantify that??Needless to say, I did tell W, he was all like…what kinda questions do you women ask each other??

Seriously, women do ask funny questions. Can’t say I am not enjoying it now!

People keep asking me how I feel about this ‘arranged deal’. I can understand- the trend had changed and I too believed I would find someone on my own and he would ride on horseback to my house and make his intentions clear. That chapter of my life closed, I opted…er, was rather just introduced to the arranged way, and it is NOT SO BAD. I would appreciate it if some people would stop making an arranged marriage seem like a traumatic affair and a big deal. It happens. It was shocking for me, but i’ve settled into the idea. Move on people.

W is not some freak, and we do talk. Not often, not even very much, but we have cleared up certain things between us. W doesn’t come with a money back guarantee, just like that guy you’ve known for ages doesn’t either- and its true that you’ll never know someone until you live with them.

I am nervous, but I think W is too. The fact that our families do have a link somewhere in the back means that he has to maintain a very cordial relationship- the same goes for me. Being in the same field as my father, he doesn’t have it that great either. It means that daddy got my back man 😛

The idea of marriage itself is scary. What are you going to do…what will life be once you move in with someone else? Will you get enough space to breathe? Will you two get along after the wedding parties…after the honeymoon? Why can’t you just live at home and he moves in with you!!?

The anxiety hasn’t completely died down for me, but I am warming up to the idea slowly…I mean, there are only 39 days to the wedding(in sha Allah), can’t do much now 🙂